Venkata “Sam” Samyukta Malapaka ’25 MS
For recent Manning College of Information and Computer Sciences (CICS) alum Venkata “Sam” Samyukta Malapaka ’25 MS, graduate school at UMass Amherst became more than an academic pursuit; it was a journey of resilience, healing, and rediscovery. In this reflective conversation, Sam shares how compassion, courage, and community helped her find strength through struggle and success.
What were your first few months at UMass like, and what did you learn about yourself during that time?
In January 2023, I landed in the United States for grad school, my heart brimming with hope and ambition. I had always imagined graduate school as an intense academic journey, with hours spent in libraries and challenging assignments—and it was all of that. But what I didn’t expect was that the University of Massachusetts Amherst would teach me something even more important: how to fall apart, pick myself up, and keep going.
Just a few months after arriving, I faced my first mental breakdown. Overwhelmed and afraid, I reached out to Elizabeth Parolski [Assistant Director of Graduate Student Advising & Success]. She set up a Zoom call within an hour of receiving my email. On that call, I cried like I hadn’t cried in years. That conversation was my first lesson outside of a syllabus: that vulnerability is not weakness, and asking for help is sometimes the bravest thing we can do.
That summer, I found my balance again. But when I returned to campus, life threw me a painful curveball. Dealing with a family loss, I slipped into deep depression, haunted by overwhelming thoughts that I couldn’t always control. I reached out for help again, and this time I visited the Center for Counseling and Psychological Health (CCPH). I met one-on-one with my counselor every week, but I wasn’t yet in a state to absorb the wise words that could’ve helped me then. My manager at my part-time job in the Office of Academic Planning & Assessment even reached out anonymously to the dean’s office to check up on me. At UMass, you are more than a student ID number—you are a human being, and you matter.
What led you to realize you needed to take a break, and what was that decision like?
My anxiety reached its peak just before an exam. The night before, I had a panic attack so intense I couldn’t breathe. In a moment of raw honesty, I shakily emailed my professor, explaining I had to leave and couldn’t take the test. Instead of judgment, the college quietly arranged a virtual exam. That understanding taught me that sometimes compassion—even in small academic decisions—can change everything.
Hoping to find some peace, I flew to India for a month. But when I returned in February, the weight of everything only grew heavier. By March, the dark thoughts returned, stronger than ever. It was then that I made one of the hardest, yet most important decisions of my life: I decided to take a break. I packed my bags and left for India again.
It felt terrifying, and at times, I worried if I had given up on my dreams, but that time away changed everything.
How did that break change things for you?
With my F-1 visa revoked, my only job became healing. What I thought would be an academic setback led me to the realization that nothing matters more than your health and your life.
When I returned to UMass the following August, I was different. Stronger. Ready to face harder classes, take on more work shifts, and apply for jobs. I even enrolled in additional courses that interested me—an independent study with the BioNLP lab—exploring research that challenged and inspired me.
From January to May, I applied tirelessly for roles in tech. On April 11, I got the offer email from Amazon, a moment that felt surreal. On May 18, 2025, I graduated from UMass Amherst—something that once seemed impossible—and nine days later, I started my new job and moved to Seattle.
Taking a break didn’t derail my life; it saved it. By stepping back, I was able to come back stronger, clearer, and more resilient. My mental health wasn’t an obstacle to success—ignoring it was.
Looking back, how did the UMass community support you through this experience?
Throughout this journey, UMass Amherst wasn’t just my university—it was my safety net. Professors, counselors, managers, and staff all showed me a level of kindness and understanding that I will never forget. They reminded me that behind every grade and deadline is a person who matters
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: your mind matters more than any grade, deadline, or job offer. It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to ask for help. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do isn’t to keep pushing forward—but to stop, heal, and come back when you’re ready.
To anyone struggling right now: You are not alone.
And to UMass Amherst: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being there when I needed it most, and teaching me lessons no syllabus could capture.